Coffee Puns: You can take the human beings out of the planet, but you can’t take the coffee out of them. Caffeine is that fuel that renders us power to tolerate the shitty people at the workplace, go through sucky situations, and keep the body going on despite of its resistance.
If you are a coffee lover and can’t stop boasting about your love for coffee, the below stated compilation of brewsome coffee puns will jolt your sleepy mind for sure. These coffee puns are completely original, flavorsome like Dalgona, and worthy sharing on the social media platforms.
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What a brewtiful day to be alive and happy!
Whatever I have achieved in life, it’s espresso-ly because of your support.
Whenever I feel depresso in life, I make my favorite espresso to latte up my day.
Words are not sufficient enough to espresso my feelings for the coffee.
Perhaps I am the only person who has deja brew instead of deja vu.
The only reason why I didn’t study well for examination is because I was procaffeinating hard.
Live life not to impress others but to espresso yourself fully.
This is one of the most brewsome coffee I have ever drank.
I don’t know what others think about you, for me you are a latte better than most of the people I know.
Excess of anything in life can create a latte of problems.
It’s not a good thing to mocha someone. Learn to respect others.
I have bean quite a hardcore coffee drinker since the beginning of my college days.
What you have mocha me feel today, no one has mocha me feel that way!
I thanks a latte to you every single day for being my loyal and trustworthy friend!
Most of the people vaccinate themselves to get protection from the diseases, I caffeinate myself for the same.
If you don’t espresso yourself, how would I know what you want?
If a coffee lover gets a new pair of shoes where would he goes first? A coffee shop.
I have always preferred mug life over thug life.
He is such a brew-lliant student. He must be having a lot of caffeine to keep his memory sharp.
Words are not sufficient enough to tell what you bean to me.
I thanks a latte to you for being my loyal coffee partner.
What do you the phobia of running out of coffee? It’s nocafephobia.
I live by only one motto in life; don’t worry, be extremely frappe.
Since morning, I have bean thinking a latte about you and missing you badly.
May you have a brewtiful and frappe morning!
How can a boy impress a girl who is crazy about coffee? Just sip me baby, one more time.
I love to live life one mocha at a time.
People have complicated relationship status, I have caffeinated relationship status.
Just brew it even if you suck at sipping it.
What is the most romantic thing one coffee lover can say to another coffee lover? Where you have bean all my life!
Life always throws frappe-turnities every single day. You need to keep your mind and eyes open to grab them.
Hip Hip Hooray is too cliche. I like sip sip frappe more!
Don’t fee low. Sip happens in everyone’s life.
Coffee is much needed fuel for me to tolerate the shitty people throughout day.
What do you call a person who steals coffee? A mugger.
The showdown between tea and coffee; The battle of beverages.
What a person to says to everyone who has accomplished everything? Bean there, done that.
There is still a day left to submit all the papers before examination. It’s better latte than never.
He is unquestionably the most frappe person I have ever seen.
For a coffee lover, even the opposite of coffee is a coffee.
What took you so long to complete a simple job? I am sorry, I procaffeinated a lot.
The reason why human beings drink coffee too much is because its quintessential for survival. Look at dinosaurs, they didn’t drink and what happened is history.
You don’t dare mocha me in front of my family members. I have some respect in their eyes which I don’t want to destroy.
Three things I want to hear from my partner: you mocha me feel special, I latte you like crazy, and espresso yourself to the fullest.
It’s not about who can blend well, it’s about how can brew well.
Hey girl, are you a Dalgona coffee? Because you grind me a lot.
Stay caffeinated, stay woke!
The best cure for COVID-19 could be a strong dose of coffee. It’s Mcaffee.
Only a bean head should be allowed to run coffee shops across the town.
What would be the name of the Minecraft game if it was designed for coffee lovers? Minecaffeine.
“I love you a latte!”
“I like my coffee how I like my jokes: dark and strong.”
“Don’t be depresso, have an espresso!”
“What’s a cow’s favorite coffee shop? Star-moo-cks!”
“Life happens, coffee helps.”
“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.”
“I’m a mug-nificent coffee drinker!”
“I’ve bean thinking about you.”
“Decaf? What’s the point?”
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“Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!”
“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool brew.”
“Procaffeinating: the tendency to not start anything until you’ve had a coffee.”
“My blood type is coffee.”
“I’ll take my coffee with a side of sunshine, please.”
“I’m a brewing force to be reckoned with.”
“You mocha me crazy!”
“I’m a brew-tiful mess before my morning coffee.”
“Coffee: the most important meal of the day.”
“Expresso yourself, don’t represso yourself.”
“Why don’t coffee beans ever get into trouble? Because they know how to espresso themselves.”
“Life’s too short for bad coffee.”
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”
“I like big cups and I cannot lie.”
“Pour decisions make the best stories.”
“Instant human, just add coffee.”
“Coffee before talkie.”
“Coffee is a hug in a mug.”
“Coffee: a liquid hug for your brain.”
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”
“How do you know if you’ve had too much coffee? You channel the Energizer Bunny.”
“Bean there, done that.”
“Caffeine and kindness: the perfect blend.”
“I’m a espresso-nality.”
“Don’t give up on your dreams, keep sleeping until you’ve had enough coffee.”
“I’m a coffee wizard – watch me brew my magic!”
“Coffee: the official fuel of ‘get stuff done.'”
“Coffee and friends make the perfect blend.”
“You’re the cream in my coffee.”
“I like my coffee how I like my weekends: long and full of possibilities.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
“I like my coffee like I like my nights: dark and endless.”
“Coffee first, adulting second.”
“What’s a baby cow’s favorite drink? De-calf!”
“Coffee: a liquid hug for your soul.”
“I’m a brewing genius in a world of basic beans.”
“Coffee is the answer, no matter the question.”
“My birthstone is a coffee bean.”
“Coffee: because adulting is hard without it!”
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Funny Jokes on Coffee
Why can’t you trust an angry barista? They’re brewing with rage!
My coffee is so strong it tried to kick down the door this morning instead of waking me up gently.
I spilled coffee on my laptop and now it has more RAM.
My barista looked confused when I asked for a pumpkin spice armadillo. Whoops, I meant latte!
I told my coffee it was grounded this morning and now it’s throwing a fit.
Did you hear about the coffee that was arrested? It was caught smuggling beans across the border.
So a mushroom, a strawberry and an espresso walk into a coffee shop. The barista says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here!”
Why are baristas such good dancers? They know all the best coffee house music!
Decaf coffee always tells the truth because it’s not under pressure.
I like telling dad jokes, even though I don’t have any kids. I guess that makes me a faux pa!
My friend got hit in the head with a can of coffee. He’s alright but very grounded.
My coffee is extremely ticklish. A single sip makes it crack up.
I asked my barista where the restroom was but he just stared at me blankly. I guess I shouldn’t have asked for the java potty.
Did you hear about the angry customer who threw her latte at the barista? I guess she really froths them up.
My coffee called in sick from work today. It said it was coming down with the flu.
I accidentally sat on my coffee this morning. Now my butt is roasted.
I told my coffee it looked a little green this morning. It told me it wasn’t ripe yet.
Why can’t you play hide and seek with a French press? Because it’s transparent!
I caught my coffee on the phone this morning making plans to run away with the milk frother.
Why was the drip coffee maker fired from his job? He kept perking everyone.
I asked my coffee how its marathon training was going. It said “Slowly, I’m taking it one cup at a time.”
Why do espresso shots make the best lawyers? They know how to make a solid case.
Did you hear about the coffee from Harvard? It graduated with high beans.
Why do coffees make bad parachutists? They get filtered out.
My coffee and I get along great until we’ve both had our morning mug, then we get into heated debates.
What do you call a sarcastic cup of coffee? Roast.
Why can’t you pour boiling water into an instant coffee jar? It says right on it- open, pour, enjoy!
I caught my Keurig hacking into the Pentagon this morning. Now it has to spend 10 years in espresso prison.
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Why was the decaf so sad? It felt like it had no purpose.
I asked my cold brew how long it would keep me awake. It said “Iced promise nothing.”
Why do mama and baby coffees get along so well? They have a strong bond.
Why was the espresso crema uninvited to the dinner party? It always curdles the conversation.
My drip coffee maker isn’t talking to my french press right now. I think they need to perk-up.
I told my coffee it was the cream of the crop this morning. It told me not to butter it up.
Why can’t you take coffee to the movies? It gets grounds for removal!
I caught my coffee playing hard bean to get this morning when I went for a refill.
Decaf coffee always tells the truth because it’s not under pressure.
What instrument does a baby latte play? The milk bottle!
Why do astronauts prefer coffee to tea? In space, no one can hear you espresso scream!
Why was the coffee late to work? It got stuck in a coffee traffic jam.
Why was the stale coffee so mysterious? It always kept people guessing.
I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a coffee joke. He said “Don’t tell me, I might spill the beans!”
What do you call a coffee spill in the Sahara desert? A caramel macchiato!
Why do sheep hate working at coffee plantations? They think the job is baaad!
Why do espresso shots make good detectives? They know how to crack a case!
Why was the baby cappuccino crying? It lost its foam!
How does a coffee pot make new friends? It perks up a conversation!
Why can’t you yell in a coffee shop? You’ll wake the decaf!
I caught my coffee mug spying on the electric kettle this morning. Now it has to spend 6 months under cup and saucer!
Why do employees avoid the office coffee pot? It always singles people out for criticism!
I told my drip coffee maker it was dripping with good looks today. Now it has an even bigger ego.
Why do scary movies and coffee go well together? They give you the caffeine jitters!
Why was the espresso depressed? It was feeling low pressured!
I love coffee so much, I’m willing to wake up at the crack of dawn to grind it, brew it, and savor every sip.
Coffee is the only thing that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. Well, that and the fear of being late for work.
I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just in a very committed relationship.
I’m pretty sure coffee is the only reason I’ve made it this far in life.
I’m not a morning person, but coffee can turn me into a functioning human being.
I’m not sure what’s more depressing, the fact that I need coffee to function or the fact that I’m willing to drink it every day.
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Coffee is my liquid sunshine.
I’m not sure what’s hotter, me or a fresh cup of coffee.
I’m pretty sure coffee is the elixir of life.
I’m not sure what’s more magical, Harry Potter or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can conquer the world.
I’m not sure what’s more dangerous, my driving skills or my coffee addiction.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel alive.
I’m not sure what’s more important, oxygen or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like a super hero.
I’m not sure what’s more powerful, love or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can do anything.
I’m not sure what’s more beautiful, a sunset or a fresh cup of coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can make a difference in the world.
I’m not sure what’s more comforting, a warm blanket or a hot cup of coffee.
I’m not sure what’s more essential, water or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can face the day.
I’m not sure what’s more magical, Disney World or a fresh cup of coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can talk to anyone.
I’m not sure what’s more addictive, cigarettes or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can think straight.
I’m not sure what’s more expensive, therapy or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can take on the world.
I’m not sure what’s more important, sleep or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can make it through the day.
I’m not sure what’s more delicious, chocolate or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can love myself.
I’m not sure what’s more important, food or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can be myself.
I’m not sure what’s more essential, air or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to.
I’m not sure what’s more magical, a unicorn or a fresh cup of coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can survive anything.
I’m not sure what’s more important, family or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can make a difference in the lives of others.
I’m not sure what’s more comforting, a warm hug or a hot cup of coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can face the world with a smile on my face.
I’m not sure what’s more magical, a fairy godmother or a fresh cup of coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can conquer my fears.
I’m not sure what’s more important, friends or coffee.
Coffee is the only thing that can make me feel like I can be the best version of myself.
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